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Old: My story might now be as bad as some poeples, and i dont think anyone will actually take the time to read it, but im going to type it anyways cause i woke up to early for school. My name is Jamie and this is my story.
When I was little, in like 1st-5th grade, i had a bestfriend. Me and her did everything together. She was the ?popular? girl in my school. I started becoming good friends with her other friend. The thing is, my bestfriend started hating this other girl for liking her boyfriend. My ?bestfriend? started bullying her all over myspace and making fun of her. Since me and that girl were good friends. I stood up for her. And since i stood up for her, me and my ?bestfriend? were no longer friends, everyone in the ?group? started hating me and the girl posted mean pictures of me on myspace and wrote ?bignose? and ?fag? all over my pictures.
The starting of 7th grade, everything changed. All my friends who went to different schools, all came into the same school for middle school. My two friends since I knew since they were born, left me, for the popular group. 7th grade changed me more then I thought it would. The ?cool? website was formspring. Everyone had one, and so did i. The thing is, I was the main persone everyone liked to bully. People had said almost every mean word you could think of, for no reason, still to this day, I dont know why everyone seemed to hate me so much. I couldn?t talk to whoever was doing it cause they asked me with no name.
The cyber-bullying got so bad, everyone at school would look at me and laugh. I felt like I didn?t have very many ?real? friends, cause i didn?t. I started cutting. Still to this very day, I wish I didn?t take that first cut. Since my cutting became an addiction, someone saw all the cuts I had on my wrist and told the school therapist. Me and her had a talk and she made me tell my parents, which was a dumb move cause they made me go talk to the cops. The cops made me go to therapy outside of school.
They think the cutting stopped there? Not whatsoever. My cutting in a matter of fact got worse, I was still being cyber-bullied and laughed at and all my friends kept leaving me, one by one. I started then thinking that the only way to stop it all was suicide. I was close to death one night by hanging myself, but the rope broke. My mom found my suicide note about a week after that and gave it to the therapist and they almost made me go to a mental hospital for suicide. Luckly they didn?t. But that was my warning. My parents soonly got divorced, and my brother joined the U.S. army.
I started becoming more secretive of my cutting and suicide attemts. 7th grade soonly ended. And I did delete my formspring. But just as 8th grade started, i knew it was going to be a repeat of last year. 8th grade isn?t as bad gladly. I get bullied,yelled at, laughed at, all the above at school and over facebook. I lost about all my friends. All my ?new friends? are more fake then my old friends.
New: i use to pray every night . nothing happened. om just not the same person i use to be , i dont believen anything. everything around me if dark . i take everything seriously . im scared to be happy but everytime im happy , something bad always happens. I get used for sex & still give it to them , nobody understand whats going through myhead & honestly ,im alone & really cant trust anyone cause they always leave & im always alone. i trust people and they leave , but i guess thats just what i do , push people away. I get used almost everyday & theres nothing i can really do about it .honestly? nothing makes me happy anymore, all around me is darkness. i dont have a bad life , bit i struggle with depression.
Well, I dont feel like typing anymore, ha, so thanks for reading if you did.